As most of you have noticed, especially if you’ve been following me for a while, I’ve started to share a lot more about my life. Becoming a mom has made me really vulnerable, in the sense that I crave connection. I want to connect with people. My followers, other moms, business owners, bloggers…just people. Sounds kind of weird but it’s the best way I can describe it.
I’M HAVING A TOTAL CARRIE BRADSHAW MOMENT TODAY WRITING THIS. JUST LET ME HAVE IT. LOL.
Pre-baby, I liked to keep everything private and give a glimpse of my personal life here and there. I mean don’t get me wrong, I still give just a glimpse because at the end of the day I don’t really want to share ALL of my struggles and that’s just the truth.
When I first started blogging it was a way for me to inform people on certain things or teach them my personal tips and tricks. Now, I have this constant light bulb going off in my head forcing me to dig a little deeper.
Today, my son was a little congested and sneezing a little more than usual. I suspect its allergies, but I’m not sure yet. I had a million things I wanted to get done today and got to zero of them. WHY? Because I was spending time with him, making him feel better with lots of cuddles, love, and kisses. That’s obviously more important to me than cleaning his room that’s been looking like a meteor hit for the past few days, doing some backend work on the blog, washing the dishes, opening PR packages, organizing the mess on my vanity…and the list goes on.
He fell asleep on my chest today for the first time in months. I used to have him sleep on my chest often as a newborn and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. It gave me a total high. I was just enjoying every second of it. His sweaty little head, his adorable pouty lips, his hand on my chest, and his perfect breathing. I felt this incredible rush of energy and emotion run through my body and it made another light bulb go off.
I’ve been laying in bed for 2 hours with my son on my chest when instead I could have gotten two hours worth of blog work done. Two hours worth of organizing and cleaning. A load of laundry…AND maybe even made dinner.
Then it hit me…
I just can’t seem to do it all. NONE OF IT.
I’ve often wondered to myself, how do women have a full-time job and still manage to take care of the kids, make dinner, and keep the household clean?
I’m the type of person that puts 100% effort into anything that I do. BUT how can I be a 100% mom and still check off my list 100% of the time?
Either I have to be a half-ass mom by doing the bare minimum and get all my other stuff done. OR I have to leave everything and be a mom whenever Levon is awake then get to my list once he sleeps…another impossible task because I don’t get to finish anything in time.
+ maybe I just need to make better lists…something more realistic? Idk.
I’m not sure, but I’m totally stuck at this moment. I find myself “stuck” all the time these days. I want to focus on working again but can’t seem to do it because this is a one-man show. I don’t have a team behind this blog, just little old me. Pre-baby I could somehow manage to do it all. But now? I’m not so sure. I just can’t seem to figure it out.
Talk to me guys. What do you think? Can you really do it all? Can you really put 100% of your efforts into EVERYTHING you do in the day?
Whats the secret sauce? TELL TELL.
This was a total spur of the moment blog post. The kind where it popped into my head and I put my son in his bassinet and started typing away. I’m just being really raw and I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter. Mayeb some tips?